Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Freak Out Day!

I promised a friend of mine not to freak out when we separated ways after the exam. Well, sleeping when I got home helped a lot but now that I'm awake, it's a hard UFC fight against freak out. I won't tap out to submission. Fight! Fight!

So, this was how my day was (I'm telling coz I'm trying not to freak out):

Woke up in the morning before my alarm clock (super!) and it felt like I was pregnant - the nausea was bad and it felt like I was going to throw up my stomach. On the other hand it also felt like I mistakenly took laxatives for my evening vitamins coz it felt like I was going to poop down my intestines. There goes my whole gastric system.

And yes, I think I'm starting to freak out since I just described waking up in one paragraph. Move on madz.

And can you really call it a prayer when you just say over and over and over again like a broken record, "Oh, Lord, please help me." And yes, nothing else.

Ate half a huge a burger which when I saw and smelled seemed tantalizing that I had to push it hard down to my stomach and concentrated on not throwing it up.

Did my last final panic checking emails for perhaps tips or any letters that says, "Test canceled due to heavy rains." Then again, I was betrayed. But lo, electricity was not wasted when I panic buzzed kevin knowing that he will be there on the other end and good enough he replied. Now, I felt better.

Wished luck my by kuya mic whose Starex wouldn't start and had my car blocked in the driveway. If the car didn't start in 5 min, I will be on whapakers fighter mode. Good thing it did and saved me energy for my possible kung fu martial arts retaliation.

Finally drove through the rainy, floody roads to Makati. Travel time was two hours and no amount of sleep deprivation and weather perfection could make me sleep. Tw hours of drive and I just listened to the radio and looked at the sad, sad sky. When I got to Makati, I had to shake off my emotera mode.

7:30 am. 1 hour ealier than scheduled time. As usual. Went to the guard who wouldn't let me enter at 8:30. Jacq was salvation for we arrived at the same time. Starbucks was also salvation as we hang out there for an hour. No coffee. No time to feel nervous. No milk. No time to excuse myself and say to the proctor, "Miss, can I poo?" A healthy dose of belgian waffle for Jacq and Mango Passion fruit drink for me with a hearty chat and positive thinking gave us the boost. It also helped to recieve texts from friends who prayed for me and wished me luck.

Finally 8:30 and the guard was finally kind enough to let us in. Met with 4 others who took the exam. Chatted about our reviews and laughed about the absurdity of the situation - 70 items, 4 parts, 80% each? Isn't that a bit too much?

We were then led to our respectful rooms with an IDP timer I secretly wished I could pocket in for my room. Presented with our test papers, I prayed hard and finally started answering. I read and answered the first 4 questions and resorted to removing my jacket. First five questions rendered me perspired all over!

I will skip the part where I answered for 1 hour and 30 min, breathing in and out. What is bugtong hininga. The raindrops distracted me wishing every drop had an answer. Apparently, that was impossible. The minutes tracked on and the test time was finally over and all I could do was nervously laugh but secretly wanting to cry, shout and freak out.

Jacq and I with Kuya Kryss decided to unwind in Glorietta yet the heavy rains seemed to oppose. What the heck, we grabbed our umbrellas, crossed the streets and boom ... taxi sped and splashed all over us. If I was less depressed, I would have gone whapakers fighter mode - go in the middle of the streets, grab my bazooka and shoot the the $&%@$# taxi from afar. Anyway, I was wet and my denim didn't seem stone washed - just rain washed for that matter. It felt I could be a model of 'Splash Island.'
Got in the mall and ate at Kenny Rogers. Hunger mode so we ordered a big meal which wasn't enough to soothe our depression. A text message from Kim got me happy - she passed gross anatomy! Yey to her! She told me that God will grant me the same and I feverently hoped so.

Pants still wet so we decided to go a round about in Cinderella. Apparently, I rather walk in wet jeans than to spend 1300k for another. So we passed by Powerbooks Live - allleellluuyyaaa. Spent time with Jacq and Kuya Kryss sifting through books which will help fight off the freak out mode. Bought For One More Day by Mitch Albom and got a free book thanks to Jacq.

Finally, it was time to go home. The weather was not so kind and we were worrying about the floods. When I got home, it was a few conversation with mom and dad and I got into bed and lapsed to unconsciousness.

And now that my exam has ended, I will wait for the exam results with my friends and I have resorted myself to work, blogging, chatting, reading and DVD marathons.

I'm trying hard not to freak out. Check your Faith - Jacq said so I keep on what little faith I have that she revived. And I have faith in my friends and family who prayed for me, went to church for me, rendered novenas for me. The best is truly yet to come. I don't know about the results. Fact is I had a hard time and I'm not feeling that confident. But words of encouragement of friends and families helped a lot. And I made a promise to Jacq not to freak out or else ...

I just want to take it blow by blow and be swept away with the emotions and be firm with my belief in Christ that HE will provide and His plans are perfect no matter what.

I still thank God. I had a hard time but if he wasn't by my side I would have the hardest time. Thank you God and thank you friends and thank you family.

And now I have tissues over my desk. I'm on sipon mode thanks to that 4^$%@# taxi. But whatever. He won't ruin my day!

Sipon mode.

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